Location: 1527 N. State Parkway

For most residents of our fine city, hanging out in this alley used to be the next best thing to rummaging through God’s trash. Located on the ass end of the Cardinal’s sprawling residence in the fancy schmancy Gold Coast ‘hood, this alley was composed of wood blocks. Unfortunately, too many residents who literally reeked of privilege would walk by with their poodles and scoff at the outdated surface. Hence, it was torn up. Not much else to expect from a neighborhood full of monocle-sporting plutocrats that made their money by giving investment advice to rat-race types with huge mortgages.

*Update: The alley was recently restored for a cool $400,000. I take back all I wrote about these plutocrats.